Thursday, January 19, 2012

HATE is NOT a family value!

Today two of my biggest pet peeves have collided into the 'Perfect Storm' of perturbedness!

I have ZERO tolerance for 'family' who spout HATE and try to disguise it as 'love'.
I also have ZERO tolerance for religious people who spout scripture and try to disguise it as 'help'.
  • REAL family does not collect ammunition against each other.
  • REAL family does not use the past to wedge a knife in your back.
  • REAL family does not use hardship as a chance to have a 'pissing contest'.
  • REAL family does not open up the wounds and leave you bleeding on the floor.

I have a REAL family.  It's taken thirty-two years of weeding out those people who are toxic to me, but for all I've lost I have gained so much more.  I have wonderful sisters with whom I can pick up a conversation with even if we haven't spoken in months.  I have these sisters despite the fact that I no longer have the 'father' that links our DNA.  I have wonderful cousins with whom I enjoy many great laughs and tons of love.  I have these cousins despite the fact that I no longer have the 'grandparents' that link our DNA.  There are many who might say I am 'missing out' because I have cut certain family members out of my life.  But the truth is, while I may miss out on a few good memories, I am NOT missing out on the HATE and BETRAYAL that those people brought to my life.  In their place, I was blessed with an AMAZING father who surrounded me with love.  In their place, I am blessed with wonderful friends and neighbors who bring LOVE and JOY to our life.  I might share the same chromosomes with people I will never include in my family, but unfortunately, those people did NOT share the same VALUES that I do.  The FAMILY I have CHOSEN may not share my values in their entirety, but they LOVE me, they SUPPORT me, and they RESPECT my values.
  • REAL family collects memories and laughter.
  • REAL family forgives the past and leaves it where it belongs (in the past).
  • REAL family offers a shoulder of support in times of hardship.
  • REAL family stitches together the broken pieces, sutures the wounds, and picks you up when you're down.
As far as religion is concerned, the same thing applies.  Religion is meant to guide us, heal us, help us, and make us feel safe and secure.  It is a gross perversion of any scripture to twist it in a way so as to attack, hurt, or otherwise disable another person.  Many of you know I do not consider myself a Christian.  Some of you know that my 'faith' verges somewhere near Buddhism.  Few of you will ever know exactly what my religious views are (trust me, they don't fit neatly into any book).  My views are NOT the point.  The point is I am well versed in many theological studies and at the root of all 'faith' there is goodness.  At their purest, most religions are meant to guide, help and heal the mind and heart.  And as a lover of many teachings, I despise it when people corrupt that goodness and twist it to hurt others.

It is my opinion that people who use 'religion' as a weapon are the ultimate hypocrites.  These people are weak, shameful, ignorant, and insecure.  If they weren't, they would not feel the need to use their spiritual beliefs in a hurtful manner.  I find the behavior of these people to be childish and immature.  They make up for their own insecurities by preying on the pain and suffering of other people.

Frankly, that makes me very angry.  I never did like a bully!

And if you happen to be the type of person who is using your misguided view of religion as a way to attack your own family.... I imagine there's a special place in Hell for you.  Since I don't presume to be GOD, I cannot say for sure (it's certainly not MY place to judge).  Since I don't actually believe in HELL, I can say this:
"It's YOUR Hell... YOU burn in it!"
Alas, you've gone and messed up my 'zen'!  Fortunately, I can regain that (unlike you and your dignity).

I was born into a Mormon-Methodist-Lutheran family.  I am not 'married' to the most wonderful Atheist on the planet.  I have the most wonderful Catholic in-laws on the planet.  And we intend to raise the OC to be a free thinking soul who can choose for herself.  Whatever label you put on your faith really doesn't matter to me.  What matters to me is how you treat the people in your life.  If you treat them with malice and HATE, there is no amount of scripture in ANY text to ever save your soul.

Guess what?  I found my 'zen' again...
  • Today, I hope you find the peace you need to let others live their lives. 
  • I hope you find the strength you need to deal with your own demons. 
  • I hope you find the dignity you need to hold your own head high without cutting someone else down. 
  • I hope you find the humility you need to keep you from judging others. 
  • I hope you find the hope you need to face tomorrow without a crutch. 
  • I hope you find the compassion you need to lend a shoulder rather than lash out. 
  • I hope you find the love you need to enjoy every moment of life.

Specifically for Miss' Crystal...
I hope you have found the FAMILY you need to see you through each day no matter the joys or sorrows it might bring.  Hold your head up high because you are strong enough to handle this, courageous enough to face it, and wise enough to deal with it in whatever way you feel is necessary.  And anyone who cannot see that about you is not worthy of the wonderful person you are.
And to anyone who might not know what this is all about... just go give my dear sister Miss' C a HUGE HUG because she could use one... because it will make her day... because it will make my day... but mostly because it will make your day to share the love and counteract the hate!


  1. You always say what I want to say but soooo much better. LOL.
    Well said sis! XOXOXO Miss C!
    Miss seeing you post PWT! Are you going to post more now? PLEASE!!!!!!
    i am dying to see what crafts you are doing now!

  2. It's why we put her "HEAD OF OUR PUBLIC RELATIONS DEPT".. cause the rest us of just say.. HEY DUMB FUCK.. FUCK YOURSELF.. lol...

  3. I wish I wasn't the fly off the handle type of gal, but your post was so great. Miss C is one lucky woman to have "this family" surrounding her.


  5. This is Queenie playing with Auntie Dutchess account under firefox.. hope it works..

  6. Yes it worked! YAY mozilla. and PWT, awesome as always