This is my official list of things I WANT to change in my life but will probably be too
drunk, lazy, busy to accomplish them all in one year:
Since the Department of Homeland Security decided to move THIS to a location in Kansas that is less than 10 blocks from my place of employment, I find this to be a very necessary and practical resolution! Apparently, the U.S. Government has never seen Resident Evil. However, I have! And let me tell you something! I don't need a knight in shining armor to rescue me from dragons, witches or evil step mothers. That shit I can handle! But in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, I will be in my attic bawling like a 4-year-old.5. Convince the Ogre Child that we do not have to watch the same shit over and over and over and over again until Mommy's brains explode!