Monday, December 27, 2010

There might be a quiz so PAY ATTENTION!

With the holidays winding to a close, I wrote a little ditty just for my dear readers.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to meeeeeeee
12 hours of nausea
11 random moodswings
10 achy muscles
9 ridiculous cravings
8 months of waiting
7 hours of labor
6 weeks of leave
5 multivitamins
40 extra pounds 
3 XL tunics
2 sore breasts
and
A NEW BABY ON THE WAY!

That's right folks... prepare yourself for UBER-PREGO-PRINCESS-MODE!!
Security will be pulling double duty for the next 9 months.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's the Holiday Season... Drinks all around!

It's the holiday season...
  • Some of you have finished your holiday shopping, and others are just starting.
  • Some of you have wonderful families to share the days with and others are convinced they were adopted.
  • Some of you enjoy spending time with your in-laws and others wish they had eloped and moved out of the country.
  • Some of you are jolly little elves and others are horrible scrooges.
  • Some of you are walking around with jingling tunes in your head and others want to barf at the first note of 'Oh Christmas Tree'.
  • Some of you still believe in Santa and others think he's a fat old fart who breaks into your house to eat your cookies.
  • Some of you will travel to visit family and others will hope they get snowed in.
  • Some of you will end the season with the warm fuzzy feeling of being around those you love, while others will be mumbling, "There is something not right about those people... not right at all!"
  • Some of you will celebrate Christmas, others will celebrate some other ritual, and some will criticize all of us for our heathen ways.

Regardless of how you are spending the holidays...
It's the perfect time to break out the drinks!

So to all of you... young and old... jolly and grumpy... saintly and sinister...
Grab yourself a cup of holiday cheer.

FUCK YOU RECIPE
1 oz 1800® Tequila
1 oz Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey
1 oz Wild Turkey® bourbon whiskey
1 oz Goldschlager® cinnamon schnapps
1 oz rum
1 oz blueberry schnapps

Mix each ingredient in a glass. Tilt glass 180 degrees and slam it

Friday, December 17, 2010

Ho Ho Ho! No really... you're a Ho!

Sorry for the lack of recent updates... it's been... well... lets just say there are Christmas presents to pay for and I'm earning the extra cash the only way I'm truly talented at.  On the plus side, I did discover that every ceiling in my house is white!!  And that inspired me to do some painting.

No serious.  It really did.

I'll give you a sneak peak at the Christmas presents for my in-laws.  Acrylic on 16x20 canvases:


For PC's sister.

This is actually unfinished.  It's a replica of a vintage bar sign for PC's brother.  I still need to add the text.


This is by far my favorite.  It's a good thing I really love my BIL's wife because if I didn't this would stay at my house and she could visit it!
So yes... I have been very busy... as I'm sure all of you are this holiday season.  When I'm not at my 'real' job, I'm playing full time Mommy to the miniature demon of my loins.  I wish I'd spent more time teaching her about Santa Clause just so I could tell her he can't visit our house this year.

Between juggling jobs, I'm trying to get my craft on and finish up some gifts.  Since PC has taken over the crafting of my FIL's present... I think I'm down to finishing one painting and doing something for my MIL.  That's not too bad considering I get extra time on the in-laws because we celebrate late.

With that being said, I got this hair brained idea to start a new... and EXTENSIVE... home project.  When we moved into our palace a little over a year ago, I had a dream for the small room at the front of the house to be a 'guest room' and 'craft room'.  And in truth, it has managed to serve both purposes most of the time.  But I think it would be more appropriate to rename it the 'whatever-the-fuck-is-homeless room'.  Because from people, to nicknacks, to loose papers... it's just filled up with whatever didn't have a home at the time.  I intend to change that very soon.  The desk (which is broken, never used, and just collecting clutter) is going out.  The over sized monster of a cabinet is going out (probably through a window because of it's utter hugeness!).  All of the crafting things will be contained in the closet which will have a built in workspace.  Then, we'll move the pull out love seat in there with the poker table, a TV and game system.  Thus transforming it into a quaint 'guest/game/craft room'.  Gee... won't that be nice?!  (The answer is 'YES'!)

So WHY would I undertake this endeavor over the holidays?  Well... for one... I'm certifiably crazy!  But mostly, it's because A) the closet is currently void of all the Christmas decor that is usually stuffed into it... and B) the holidays are the slow time at work which means I'll have a few extra hours at home to accomplish the task.

Today, I started by completely emptying the closet, removing the doors and arranging some shelving.  While the closet was empty, I got this hair-brained idea to strip out the ancient and badly peeling wall paper.  Do you know what I discovered?  SIX DIFFERENT LAYERS OF WALLPAPER ON THE WALL!!!  What that means is when I decide to replace the tacky wall paper in the actual room... there will be SEVEN layers on the walls.  Oh how I hate lazy remodelers!!

But alas... I finally gave up on scraping and peeling and did some organizing.  I put a serious dent in the mess monster that was the room... but you can't really tell unless you spent the entire time in there with me.

Still... it's a start.  PC is always telling me to just tackle the mess one little bit at a time.  Which works fine and dandy except for the fact that I usually lose interest before I finish.  I may need a little motivation or incentive to complete it all.  I'm thinking something from the "Oh My Gosh Store" would do the trick *wink*.

But enough of me.  YEAH RIGHT!!  I put that new Christmas spirit header up just for your reading pleasure so you can listen to me rant.

I can't wait for Christmas to be over... why?  Because I think I know everything I'm getting... unless someone breaks out a huge surprise.  And frankly... I'm perfectly happy with all of my gifts.  More importantly, I'm terrible at keeping gifts a secret.  That's why I made PC go pick his up from Lowes 3 weeks ago.  I can't wait for everyone to get their gifts.  I hope they all love them.

So tell me readers.  Do you like the giving, or the getting (doesn't mean you're greedy... I love $2 socks in my stocking!)?  Can you keep it a secret or are you a tattler?  And the one I really really want to know... do you like the surprise or do you prefer someone sticks to your 'list'?  (I prefer to buy it and tell PC to wrap it for me!)

Here's wishing you and your family a
SAFE and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Unless you have family like mine...
in which case, I wish you a SAFE and MERRY CHRISTMAS
and I hope your idiotic family members are singed in a terrible toyshop disaster involving blow torches and a reindeer stampede!