What Mom should have said was 'clean out your purse in case you're in an accident'! Those of you who are currently scratching your heads trying to figure out what I'm talking about are the same ones who walk around with a 5 millimeter thick purse in which they've neatly packed every credit card, store card, rewards card, the checkbook, and a lipstick. You also never forget your purse in the car in 104 degree heat (if you did, we'd all know by the lipstick stains on the checks you write).
Unfortunately, most women have been denied the purse organizing genetics. And while I rarely carry a purse (I'm a credit card and a $20 in the bra type of girl!)... there are occasions when I feel the need. Not carrying a purse often means it doesn't really get cleaned out often. I have a dozen or more wonderful purses (including a 'spy' bag and a big bag perfect for smuggling small children across state lines) and whenever I organize my closet space I find the damnedest things! There's always the exciting jackpot of money you stashed in a pocket, or a great eye shadow you'd forgotten about... but it gets me wondering what the EMS would find in my purse if I was ever in an accident.
Today the answer was...
- A cigarette lighter
- 3D movie glasses... AND...
- A pair of sexy pink monkey panties (size T4)
Oh, and GUYS... don't think you're off the hook. Remember condoms have expiration dates... if the one in your wallet has expired they'll know your sex life sucks!
Hmmmm. I rarely carry a purse. But when I do....they'd find handcuffs without the key, an empty bottle of lube and a box of matches.
ReplyDeleteI looked.. the orange bag had...
ReplyDeleteone book of matches..
an inhaler...
and
a picture of you naked
in the tub..
when you were 2
I couldn't possibly list all the random shit that's in my bag but there are converse sneakers (size 4), a jar of bananas, some exlax and a screwdriver just to name a few!
ReplyDeleteyou can so tell I am a mom when you look in my purse! LOL
ReplyDeleteReceipts (from the grocery store)
Expired Coupons
Pens
Sunglasses
My D&B wallet with more pics than money
A tampon that wiggled its way out of a wrapper
A Hair band
A Lollipop
And 4 whole pennies!!!
Amanda - Well... I guess if we see you carrying a purse we know how your night is going to end up ;D
ReplyDeleteQueen - matches... I believe; inhaler... I believe; naked picture of me... even at 2... I call bullshit because I know damn well you refused to let people take naked pictures of me :D
Babes Mami - I died laughing. THAT is a MOM purse for sure!! All it's missing is the dirty diaper!
Amy - That's a near perfect picture of my big purse when I carry it. And if you're like me, you never have any of the following: the reciept for the item you're returning; the coupon for the product you're buying; a pen when you need to write a check; sunglasses when it stops raining; a tampon when you're caught by surprise; or a penny when you bill comes to $20.01!
loads of used tissues, make up, hair brush, lots of dust and hair ipod, nose drops, tooth whitening gum guard, a torch/vibrator on a key ring, R150 in silver, electronic cigarette, beanie, and much more....I have a beeg handbag and like it that way.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge me, you don't know me...
You are too freakin funny! My grandma did say the exact same thing to me.
ReplyDeleteIts funny that you carry shit in your bra, my mother carrys her cell phone in her bra.
THe only thing crazy I carry in my purse is gummie snacks, multi bottles of hand sanitizer and lots of lip stick.
New here. Stop by for a vist. I promise I am not all about soccer.
My purse generally contains everything some other person might need. The only thing I don't carry wi money. Yeah, my husband is generous that way.
ReplyDeleteHahaha...love the monkey panties. I don't carry a purse much. But if I looked in it...it would probably have dust, a tampon, a credit card I lost, and lip gloss. Don't make me look. Dust bunnies scare me...
ReplyDeleteDSL - I certainly don't judge. If I went upstairs and cleaned out "THE BAG" I imagine we might find at least one missing child, a dead gerbil, 3 rolls of toilet papers, and a small sedan.
ReplyDeleteSoccerMom - cell phone in bra? I'm thinking that sounds uncomfortable. But if she's more endowed than me she might be able to pull it off.
middlechild - Stop stealing other peoples purses! Damn klepto anyway!
MommaFargo - Don't look!! If you lost the credit card, let the bunnies eat it. But you might want to keep an eye on middlechild. I'm pretty sure she's stealing other people's purses!