Saturday, January 22, 2011

This Random Rant was brought to you by...

The Resident Jr. Terrorist, OGRE CHILD!

My 3-year-old walks out of the bathroom today with her butt in the air, her panties around her ankles, and toilet paper in hand.  "Mommy, will you help me wipe my butt?"

What can I say, it fits with my PWT philosophy... Please Wipe Tushy!

Later, she announced that she had lost her green car... you know... the small one like the orange one... I lost it in the bathroom.  I told her to go look for it and she informed me she could not reach it.  So I got up to retrieve the car for her.  When I got to the bathroom she pointed at the toilet and said, "It's way down there, I can't see it no more!"  Ummmm... yeah... honey, if the potty ate it, it's gone forever!  Why was it in the potty?  She quickly changed the subject, "Oh, it's okay Mommy, I've still got my orange one!"

On my list of Mommy might go crazy trends... TAG!  At any random moment during the day she will run up and smack you yelling "Tag, you're it! Now come get me!"  *blink blink*  Honey, I'm on the shitter, we can't play tag right now!

I'm not sure I've ever mentioned that the O.C. is Hindu.... (aka she doesn't eat COWS).  Chicken?  Sure.  Hot dogs?  Yeppers.  Beef?  NO THANKS!  Imagine my utter shock when she ate an entire Manwich and asked for another!!!  WOOHOO!!

Disney SUCKS!  Specifically, Disney CARS!  I have a little girl who literally watched Cars until the DVD broke.  She is soooo obsessed with it that I had to use the Wii to record all of the Mater Tales to DVD for her.  The only thing she will watch is the Noggin Channel (except Oobi which I've convinced her is a BAD show!), Cars and Tom & Jerry.  Tonight, I finally corrupted her mind with Garfield because I NEEDED A CHANGE!!!!!  No shit!  I cannot watch the same thing on two televisions all day long.  I'll go Ted Bundy on some unsuspecting soul.  Next I intend to introduce her to the lost art of Looney Tunes!!!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And I leave you with a smile brought to you by the OC and her favorite board books.


  1. Good thing your toilet is ok. A few weeks ago my 3 y.o. cousin flushed a car down the toilet and my aunt had to pay $400 for a plumber to fix it.

  2. I swear your daughter has been teaching my daughter the same shit!!

  3. lmao. i remember the days of floaties in the toilet. cute!

  4. We haven't gotten to the "flush objects down the toilet" yet. I rue the day we arrive there....sigh.... your little collages are adorable. :o)

  5. Mini Badass put fruit snacks in the toilet!!! The fuck???

  6. I never make it in time to find out what got flushed! I always just hear the "uh-oh".
    I highly recommend Dispicable Me as a new movie...I felt truly blessed when my son allowed this one to be added to his list of watch over and over to drive mommy fucking nuts library!
    Ok so I gave you an award...and before you roll your eyes and say whatever, just know that this award is 'The Badass Blogger' award. I changed it to fit my needs (just like everything else in my life).
    I enjoy reading your blog, so thank you.