Toddlerisms

In case you've been under a rock or are just tuning in... I have a three-year-old satanic nazi terrorist toddler (and you just thought I was chemically imbalanced!)  And in truth, there are days that she is so pricelessly adorable I want to hug her until she stops kicking.  Alas, I love that little munchkin a thousand times over and thus she has managed to survive.  Despite the fact that I have an exorcist and psychiatrist on speed-dial, she's still the light of my life and makes me completely crack up several times a day.

This week's Toddlerisms...

Not Cool Mom! Not Cool!
(4:00 PM - staring at a leaf she wasn't supposed to pick)
Mommy you need to get the ladybugs!
There aren't any ladybugs.
Yeahhuh! Right there... and there... you get them off!
I am not picking your imaginary ladybugs. You do it!
Okay! *picks one off and sticks it in my face* See Mommy!
Yep!  Eat it!!
*looks like she just ate a lemon* NO!!!  They're ucky!  They've got legs!!!
LMAO . . .
*looks at me very serious*  I DON'T WANT SPIDERS!!

Pimping Out Mommy

(7:45 AM - standing at my bedside)
Mommy! Guess what!
*one eye opens* hmph?
It's a nice day outside! You need to get up and go to work! You need to make me some money!