Friday, August 27, 2010

Saturday's Secret Review

(I was going to hold onto this one until tomorrow, but the last post I auto-scheduled did not post at the right time.  And I'm in no mood to check back after midnight to make sure it posted right.  So yes... I'm going to jump the gun a bit... I'm sure you'll forgive me!)

Ever stumble upon a blog that makes you want to sign up for a frontal lobotomy?
  • The Mommyblogger who shits sunshine and roses?
  • The hypocritical jackass who thinks his shit doesn't stink?  (get some fiber in your diet... that's just not healthy!)
  • Or the Meme-oholic that seems to have absolutely no depth?
Well... I have!  (Lucky me!)

And frankly, while I can handle the occasional assault upon my intellectual thought process... it just bugs the shit out of me when I stumble onto multiple stereotypical clones in one browsing session.  (Jesus tits on a biscuit, who sounded the troll alarm?)

How do I manage to stumble across this crap?  Usually, it involves clicking on the link of some blogger who left an idiotic comment in a place I frequent.  It's the curiosity.  I can't help but become overwhelmed by a desire to witness first hand the fucktardedness that is this blogger!

I can already hear you, "Curiosity killed the cat, you know?!"




So without further ado...

I give you Saturday's Secret Review:

I will not be providing links to the idiocy because
1) I would never subject my readers to such CRAPTASTICNESS! 
2) I refuse to promote this trash even negatively and
3) I wouldn't degrade my fellow bloggers outright. 
(Now if they stumble upon this and want to list their link for fair judgement, they are welcome to do so)

And before anyone accuses me of 'talking shit behind people's backs'.  It's not behind their back... it's in full view of the public.  And I promise not to say anything here that I wouldn't say to their face!

Today's Secret Reviewee is...
Inquire and You Will Acquire
(Yes, the name is changed for their anonymity... I'm certainly not protecting innocents on this one!)

This site 'claims' to "give bloggers solid, constructive feedback on their blogs."  The FAQ section would almost inspire me to request a review.  It's snarky enough to make me want to like these people, and implies that while the truth might hurt a bit, they really want to help you better yourself and your blog.

It also states that all of the reviewers are experienced bloggers with "rockin' templates".  Unfortunately, actually listing the URLs of their personal sites must be stepping too far out of their boundaries.  It's a pity since I was just dying to know what their superior writing and template styles said about them!

They do state some basic hard/fast rules for bloggers that I totally agree with.

Reading through the 'profiles' of the reviewers, I'm inspired to find them likable!  Artistic, sarcastic, creative, and well-versed... right up my alley!

Unfortunately, I have a ZERO BULLSHIT factor and I utterly abhor drama for the sheer sake of drama.

I really find only two things about this blog that disgust me.
(make that three because I despise the layout... but that is something I can forgive... it's personal decor and it is THEIR HOUSE!)
But these 2 things leave me with absolutely no respect for the authors of this blog.
  1. While I love a good dig on someone and totally appreciate a cynical approach to addressing topics, there is a line that one should acknowledge when it has been crossed.  In the case of this blog, I think it is completely unnecessary to stereo-type the readers of one's blog as being safe, lame, inept, ass-kissing, or otherwise unqualified to be unbiased about a critique.  "I run in a different pack of bloggers - you know, the ones that write because they have to write, not because they want to shit-talk"  I feel this type of derogatory statement is geared more towards a bashing of one's fan base than of their abilities (or lack thereof) to write.  Grow up!
  2. Criticizing someone for their online 'persona' is hypocritical if you yourself have clearly created a 'persona' for yourself.  One of the beautiful (albeit sometimes disturbing) facts about the Internet is that you get to be whomever you want to be.  You are free to portray yourself as a psychotic clock-tower sniper (or a cold-blooded reptile) if you so choose.  One's persona of themselves is part of the joy that is creative expression.  And yes, to some extent one does get drawn into the 'safe zone' of that persona.  One may find themselves struggling to post things without stepping outside the boundaries they believe they have set for themselves.  I applaud these reviewers for pointing out that you can step out of the box and be 'real' for a moment... and those who truly love your writing will still enjoy it.  However, if your own site profiles sport implications of psychotic tendencies and drunkenness, I certainly do not think you are qualified to call foul on someone for using the term 'crazy'.
With that being said, I find this an utter tragedy.  The reviewers of this site present themselves as very fun, entertaining, witty, and intelligent individuals.  I actually enjoyed reading some of the quips about certain bloggers shortcomings.  Unfortunately, I do not feel that they are presenting themselves in a fair and honest manner (unless you actually read their URL).  The degradation thrown out on this site far exceeds anything that could be construed as constructive.  While I find the language to be intellectually stimulating, the word usage could present a challenge for even the most adept literate (and makes me wonder how much time they spend on  And while I certainly don't feel the authors should 'dumb themselves down' against their own will, I do feel they are not writing for a broad demographic.

Overall, I feel this site is a great disappointment for society.  The authors of the site seem like they have a great deal of intellect, creativity and humor to offer the world and yet they debase themselves with the mundane business of degrading others.  A tragic waste of great personality and wondrous talent.
I realize that some may feel this post is very petty of me.  You don't really have to be a brain surgeon to figure out exactly which blog I am referring to.  I have no doubt that this post may receive mixed reviews itself.  But considering the circumstances, I feel that this was done in complete fairness.  I have tried to squash my 'Mafia-Mentality' to give a fair judgement of the site and its authors.  I struggled to distance myself from comments which were irrelevant to the quality of the blog itself.  No doubt there are those who may say I am guilty of the same 'crimes' I accused the authors of.

In truth, I have been torn on this entire post. I struggled not to resort to name calling or trash talking (and no doubt, the humor-factor has clearly suffered). I have read and re-read this post several times to be certain I conveyed my feelings in a manner that I felt satisfied with. After a great amount of editting and thought, I have come to the conclusion that I am happy with my words. It is not the brazen, gigglefest that many love to read, but it is true to my heart and honest. This behavior is something I would stand against in the real world and therefore see no reason why I should not do so amongst my blog friends (who are equally near and dear to me).


  1. PS. If you hate it... if you think it's long winded... if it's totally pointless or redundant... forgive me! I promise a brighter more cheerful me (as soon as Amy hooks me up). But I had to get this out of my system because it was totally interfering in my ZEN!

  2. Okay girl I am hooking you up with some good shit for tonight. Love the classy post that gets the point across! (of course, since I am on probation, I went all out with trash talk!) is s special smoke for ya. Don't tell the Dutchess, or she will try and take it from you!

  3. Oh... we're so keeping you! You've got faster delivery than Dominos :D I hate it when I have to sober up to post!


    PK, you rocked the classy shoes tonight. Love the post.

    I heart your face.

  5. Ladies,, very proud of each and every one of you on this. You all came to the defense of a Royal Family Member, you did it your way, and. you passed the good stuff around to those that needed it. Way to go.. Luv, hugs and gin..all around..

  6. Nicely done.

    Personally, I have no respect for a site that revels in sitting around and tearing other people down, then having the audacity to excise comments that don't go along with the pack.

    You guys keep doing what you're doing. Screw the other people that aren't in on the joke.

  7. Very well said. I have read their reviews on other bloggers. Seem to have a steady stream of meanness. I think they focus on that because they are attention whores. Anyway, nicely written.

  8. Great review on the reviewers, couldn't agree more.

  9. Bitch! You know I'm on vacation! I'm not reading blogs...

    You rock my tits off sis! I love you!