Sunday, August 29, 2010

What's for Lunch?

If you don't already know, I am NOT a foodie!  I'm simply not a picky eater.  I love carbs.  I love fattening shit!  If you've got something frying in bacon grease, don't be surprised if I'm standing there dry humping your leg!

There are only two common foods I totally wretch at.
  1. Rare meat - My father liked his steaks rare.  When my father sent leftovers to my hotel room, I most certainly did call down to the bar and ask to speak to the veterinarian.  Once he was on the phone I told him he needed to rush to my room ASAP because I was pretty sure he could still save Dad's steak!
  2. Okra - The Queen made the mistake of making boiled okra once!  Let me tell you right now that boiled okra smells exactly like cat urine and has the consistency of cat vomit!
Other than that, I'm pretty open minded.  If it walks, hops, or swims, I've probably tasted it.  Basically, I'm up for trying anything that isn't laced with arsenic... at least once!  That's not entirely true... I draw the line at insects (not enough chocolate in the world for that!).  There are many exotic and 'healthy' foods that I have not yet had the opportunity to taste, but I'm not against trying them at some point.

With that being said, I find most people's flavor atrocities perfectly acceptable.  I dip my french fries in chocolate frosty, I'll put dill pickles on a peanut butter sandwich, and I love to sip a Coca Cola with popcorn in my mouth.

However, I do have some standards (and they are pretty LOW).

I once watched a student eat butter straight from the container!!  I put a screeching stop to that if I was going to be eating in the same building with him!

My sister-in-law grew up loving ketchup sandwiches.  Not a huge fan of the big K anyway... let alone just spread on a slice of bread!

And I once knew a girl who liked mayo and PB sandwiches!  (This makes my tongue have a grand mal seizure!)

But yesterday at work, I encountered a person who's lunch made me want to leave the building (and I wasn't even trying to eat anything!)  Our maintenance guy... who has to be like 112-years-old... proceeded to explain to me the contents of his sandwich.  I literally had to have him repeat it about 3 times to be certain that first, I heard him correctly, and second, he was NOT kidding... he had to show me before I believed him!

I am now going to subject you to the same GAG-factor:

It was a slice of wheat bread spread with butter.  On top of that he added peanut butter and jelly.  If the whole scenario had stopped right here... I could have shrugged and walked off.  Butter is fine and I can see how it could add a uniquely appealing flavor to even the classic PB&J (though I'm not going to test this theory.)  BUT NO!!  He did not stop there.  In addition to this trifecta of spreads, he added...
a slice of PIMENTO LOAF!

Yes, I just threw up in my mouth a little!
How about you?

Now the current debate between the Prince and I is whether this sandwich is worse than his sisters ketchup catastrophe.  I say it is, he says the ketchup sandwiches are way more disgusting.

So I leave it to you dear readers.  Which is worse?
  1. Ketchup Sandwich (Just ketchup on bread)... OR
  2. Butter + PB&J + Pimento Loaf on Wheat!
And while you're at it...

What food do you totally love that others may think is crazy?
What is the grossest food you seen someone else enjoying?


  1. I threw up at the words.. Pimento Loaf... so my vote is that... gag..

  2. OK, first we could totally to lunch together. Fries dipped in frosty's are a must!!!, dill pickle on peanut butter sandwiches, yummy. Coke and popcorn oh yeah baby.

    I'm going with the PB&J only because of the butter. My dad made sandwiches for my kids once when me and the hubby were vacationing and to this day, they gag when they tell me he put butter on them.

  3. Okay, I just threw up my best bottle of whiskey. That is just gross! I vote for the Pimento Loaf.
    I LOVE my steaks rare! YUM and dip your fries in mayo or ranch dressing! YUM YUM!

    My family gags when I have anything with cream cheese! They say it smells nasty! I don't understand their problem! Bagels and cream cheese are heaven! Especially with salsa on top of it!

  4. Both are so bad I am having a hard time picking. But I am going to have to say ..

    Ketchup Sandwich (Just ketchup on bread)...

  5. Baseball mom.. but they put chicken lips and assholes in pickle loaf.. ketchup is just a squished up tomato.

  6. My Avery likes ketchup and mustard sandwiches...which is OK with me because she can make it herself and it makes her self sufficient. I wouldn't put pimento loaf in my mouth EVER, let alone with some random other shit. GRODY! My exSIL used to eat cornflake sandwiches with pickles and ketchup. Again, GRODY!

  7. pimento has my vote...eeew

    I do love
    pickles and popcorn with a coke
    miracle whip and peanutbutter sandwich
    pizza with ranch dressing

    grossest thing i am never eating, pickled pigs feet, WTF? eeeewwwww

  8. I wouldn't eat pimento loaf let alone feed it to my dog!
    My husband drinks the melted butter that is left over from like when we have crab legs and stuff.

  9. Someone at work loves Fish Paste, grated cheese and syrup. No one ever steals her sarmies.

    My Gran used to make us butter and sugar sarmies. I still love them. Crunchie Munchie...

    My sister loves french polony with baked beans in tomato sauce on toast. Puke!

  10. Let's Tally the votes: 5 to 1 that the Pimento Loaf is more disgusting!

    With that being said:
    Dazee - A woman after my own stomach! MMMmmmmm!

    The Queen - I thought with The King gone, I'd never again have to hear about food made from chicken lips and assholes again. Thanks for keeping up that tradition for us!

    Donda - Okay... That's a total win for you because cornflakes, pickles and ketchup on a sandwich about made me barf up my mac-n-cheese! I'm going to go brush my teeth just to get those words out of my mouth!

    Momma Fargo - Just doing my part to start a new diet program :D

    Dutch - OMG!! My ex-idiot loved pickled pigs feet. I made him eat them outside... in the fucking garage! *BARFOLA*

    middle child - Your hubs is NOT allowed to eat at my dinner table. I love butter... but plain butter... hell no!

    ADSL - Okay... You and Donda have to fight for the vomit crown because fish paste and syrup sandwiches could be the most horrible thing I've ever heart of. PUKE!... I have no idea what polony is... but if it's a processed puckered pretend meat like bologna... I just gagged twice in one comment! YOU WIN!! (Sorry Donda!)

  11. Wow that is quite the sandwich - pimento and jelly. What a taste. Anyway, stopped by to say hello. Following you from Woo Us to Your Blog Hop.