Tuesday, January 4, 2011

By Royal Decree

For most of you, this is old news.  The Royals were quick to get the news and send all their dearest thoughts to us.  But for those who haven't had a chance to get caught up, I figure I'll fill you in.

We ended up in the emergency room late Sunday evening because I was experiencing horrible pain.  I was transported by ambulance to another hospital for an ultrasound which revealed an ectopic pregnancy and a ruptured tube.  Early Monday morning I had emergency laproscopy surgery to remove the tube and repair the damage.  The surgery went well and I was resting comfortably by 4 AM.  Due to a previous surgery, this incident means I will no longer be able to have children naturally.
I won't deny this is a great loss to us.  We have both wanted more children in our lives.  However, I refuse to let this moment define me.  It is what it is.  We are blessed with an amazingly wonderful little girl who is the light of our lives.  I cannot drown in sorrow at the loss of an imagined future when our future is shining so brightly right in front of me.  No doubt there will be moments when I feel cheated by the hand we've been dealt, but again... it is what it is.

So today, surrounded by more love and friendship than I know what to do with, I demand by Royal Decree that there will be no sad thoughts.

Today I will
...smile at my SIL who has offered her two daughters on loan anytime we want.
...laugh at my old friend who still says she wants to marry me.
...embrace all the warm thoughts my friends and family have been sending our way.
...love my husband, mother, and daughter for doing everything they can to make sure I'm well cared for.
...enjoy every single moment I have with my amazingly magical daughter.
And as part of this decree, I demand that YOU find at least one special thing in your life that makes all the little troubles and annoyances pale in comparison.  The Princess demands that smiles and laughter will fill her palace with its madness inducing music.

Thank you all for keeping me and my family in your thoughts.

Now, I'm off to prep myself for all the laughter I expect you to pour upon me.
Step 1 - Take a percoset so I can laugh without crying.
Step 2 - Take another percoset so it's twice as funny.


  1. Alright hooker... I already told you how much I love you and how sorry I am, so I'll try to keep this as crazy bitch as I can!

    Hopefully you know, now that I have reclaimed my seat in the castle that the battle for the crown (you know when the Dutchess finally succumbs to all the alcohol and drugs I slip in her food) is fully on!

    I think we should seriously re-evaluate the dwindling number of hot cabana boys that I noticed upon my return... Where the fuck have they all gone???

    I need frosty glasses filled with liquid excitement brought to me by scantily clad, muscle bound men!!! We need at least 4 more- 2 new for each of us of course.

    Maybe we should call a Family Meeting about it. Any suggestions??

    Oh and quit giving my flamingo dirty looks and slipping her spoiled shrimp bitch! She's starting to turn a peachy color!

    (I love you dearly sweets)

  2. I will gladly lend you my hubby. Not as some sick twisted sex slave. (Though you can it you want)But I offer him as a jester...lol You get that little monkey drunk and he will act a fool for hours! You are doing a great job! I love your outlook.

  3. Apparently since CB ran away, she has not kept up with the fact that she must now go through me to get to you.

    There are cabana boys CB, but they are only out and about when PWT is around. Sorry, but they know who pays them, and it's not the Queen. If you have any questions or such that you would like to ask the princess, please inquire with me.

  4. I admire your positive attitude in the midst of a very trying circumstance. So, to try and make you laugh, I will share a portion of a conversation I had with my 6 yr old son today. Me: No, you can't go off by yourself to look at the fish. What would you do if someone tried to grab you?! Him: Kick 'em in the nuts! [Ahhhh...kids...blog fodder for sure!]

  5. Now Reckmonster.. that is some funny shit right there...

    The Queen

  6. OK,, you wanted funny.. get ready to pop a stitch bitch...

  7. CB - LMAO!! I knew you'd make me die laughing. But there's no way in hell you're getting to the crown! I may be doubled over in discomfort, but I can still kick ass and take names.
    As far as Cabana boys go... I'm on leave for two weeks, I'm sure I can talk Ariana into letting you keep them warm for me. If you like what you see, I'm sure we can work something out ;)
    And WTF Flamingo? I haven't touched your fucking flamingo! Why do you have a flamingo? You better talk to the Brat about that one! HEART you BITCH!

    Jen - I'm not up for much of a sex slave right now anyway... but a drunken monkey? That has definately sparked my interest. LOL Thanks love *HUGS*

    Ariana - Way to have my back woman!! But lets pick our battles. I'm not giving an ounce on the crown, but we both know there's plenty of drooling Cabana boys to go around. Hook the hooker up will ya :D <3

    Reckonmonster - Oh I LOVE IT! That's an absolutely perfect response. Exactly what my daughter will say someday!

    Queen - OMG! LMAO! That was some great thinking there!

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  9. I admire your positive outlook on things. A lesser woman would be drowning in it right now, but of course you're not a lesser woman! (you are part of the royal family after all, right?!)

  10. Love ya! Also heard a rumor about 31?