Thursday, January 13, 2011

Quid Pro Quo (The Final Chapter)

67 - How much cash do you typically carry around with you?
I like to have a $20 on me at all times.  Sometimes it lasts me a day, sometimes it lasts me a month.

68 - Last book you read?
A Disney Cars book to the OC last night.  But that's about to change when the PC gets home with my new House of Night book, Awakened.

69 - Ever have a one night stand?
Yep!  He was sweet.  He was hot.  We were drunk.  But he was not... shall we say... equipped!  I have never had to try so hard in my entire life to make a man realize there was never going to be an 'us'.  This is why every woman should have a FWB to fall back on in a bind.

70 - Ever been in a fist fight? If so, explain. If not, make one up.
Once upon a time, a dozen of my friends got a drunken idea to get even with a group of Wannbe Mexicangsters.  Long story short, most of them chickened out and one guy was left to face a house of 20+ very pissed off men.  Being the brazen bitch I am, I stormed the fort and cleared the room.  Assholes did not know what hit them!  I left them standing there in awe as I walked out with my friend.  This incident may or may not have led to the previously mentioned incident.

71 - Name one song that if you never heard it ever again, you'd be thrilled.
At this particular moment... since it's played for umpteen hours straight on my TV... I must say, "We did it!  We did it! BLAH FUCKING BLAH!" from Dora the Explorer.

72 - No way Jose. What say you?
I know Jose... it's not his real name!  He's a sweetheart!

73 - If a cow laughed what would shoot through its nose?
I grew up on a cattle ranch... you SO don't want to know what comes out a cows nose!

74 - If you sneezed onto a computer, would it get a virus?
Probably... computer have shitty immune systems!

75 - If you made it onto the Price is Right, what game would you prefer to play?
I never was a big fan...  I just want to spin the wheel and win the showcase with the car.  Thanks!

76 - How did the cow jump over the moon?
That's what happens when you keep the bulls penned up for too long.  There's some serious pressure built up and only one release valve!

77 - Do you smoke cigarettes, and if not have you ever?
Yes.  Though on days like today when I've totaled a whopping 4 all day... I don't really know why.  Unfortunately, the minute I slip behind the wheel of a car, I know my restraint will go straight out the window.

78 - Name 3 bands/acts/singers you are afraid to admit you love
Lady Gaga, Garth Brooks, Bryan Adams... though it's really no surprise.  I love almost all music.

79 - If you could have a one 'superpower', what would it be?
Telekinesis... mainly because I'm a lazy bitch and it would make looking for the remote a hell of a lot easier!

80 - Do you use Facebook/Twitter/Myspace/LinkedIn/etc? Which do you use more and why?
Mostly just Facebook.  That is distracting enough.

81 - What's the worst job you've ever worked?
After a lot of thought, I've concluded it is my current job.  Hotel Housekeeping is absolutely horrible work for shitty wages.  But they work around PC's schedule so it's hard to complain much.

82 - Does size matter?
Depends on what we're talking about.  I mean, if we're talking about diamonds the answer is a definite YES!

83 - How do you take your coffee or tea?
I like my milk and sugar with a splash of coffee and chocolate.
I like my tea black, no sugar, on ice, best made by The Queen.

84 - What's your favorite phrase?
What a cluster-fuck!

85 - Whose feet smell worse, yours or mine?
Mine... I promise!  But yours stink too!

86 - What celebrity do you most resemble?
On a good day, Grace Kelly (says the face recognition thingie)
On a bad day, Christopher Walken!

87 - What's your favorite word that's not in the dictionary?
cunt*tas*tic ~adj. appearing to be derived from a cunt.  "I never know what that cunttastic bitch is going to belch from her throathole next."

88 - Can a short person talk down to a tall person?
HELL YES!  All 5'4" of me will talk you straight into a fetal position if you happen to be a super douche who deserves a smackdown!

89 - Describe the last thing to have flown into your ear.
The rare and elusive wax fairy.  I haven't caught the bitch yet, but I recognize the mess she leaves behind.  You just wait until I get my patent finalized... that glittery whore won't know what hit her!

90 - As far back as you can remember, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a veterinarian... until I was 17.  Why?  Because I love animals!  And then it dawned on me... I love animals.  Awwww... how sad it would be to see all those poor animals that you knew you wouldn't be able to help.  Those PPPPOOOOOOORRRR things!  I simply could not handle watching innocent animals go through horrible suffering.  So I majored in Psychology instead!

91 - Which TV show's setting would you most like to live in?
HOUSE M.D.  But I just want to be that hot chick he's always flirting with at the bar or clinic.  I don't want to actually be dying or treating people!

92 - Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers?
They can only eat the giraffes and elephants.  The lions eat meat so they're off limits!

93 - Does the cheese stand alone?

94 - Is it worth the effort?
Not if you're swimming up stream!

95 - Would you own a pet seal?
No.  Too much work.  But could I get a coat made out of one?

96 - Pot - legalize it - yes or no?
YES.  If they don't legalize it and tax it, they're going to find it's cheaper to smoke pot than it is to smoke cigarettes.

97 - What's wrong with fake breasts?
Not a damn thing if they look nice.  It's the botch jobs that scare me!

98 - If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
If so, the honey would have to listen to it drone on about how much it hurts!

99 - Name at least one food item you eat that most don't.
It actually still surprises me how many people will not eat canned spinach.  YUMMY!

100 - What's the meaning of life?
One thing!


  1. I liked canned spinach in my veggie soup.

  2. I honestly could never be housekeeping in a motel/hotel. I commend you.

  3. #88... WIN.

    Love your cuntastic hookerface