Monday, March 14, 2011

Don't Duct Tape the Momma!

The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter--it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

-Mark Twain 1888
It will come as no surprise to you that I am not a supporter of censorship.  The fact is, I abhor the very thought of it.  That is not to say that children should not be censored against things that are inappropriate to their age.  I certainly don't think my daughter needs to be watching the Saturday night Cinemax.  However, so many people take censorship to such an extreme that it becomes detrimental to the individual as well as to society as a whole.

Censorship certainly has it's purpose.  It creates a sense of order and civility in certain situations.  We can all probably agree that if you want to get along with your neighbors you shouldn't stand on your front porch yelling at the COAL BURNER across the street about her JUNGLE BUNNIES and their ridiculously loud music.  If you are brazen enough to mouth off to the local JIGABOO, I would certainly think it acceptable for them to call you a HONKY CRACKER in return (though consider yourself lucky if that's all the retaliation you get)!

Good censorship is simply knowing when to keep your mouth shut!  You shouldn't stand up during the Sunday sermon and call the preacher a COCK-SUCKING SON OF A WHORE (even if he is one).

Good censorship is when the judge holds you in contempt for repeatedly referring to your ex-husband as a "nutless circus monkey with the brains of two day old cunt-cheese".  (you're giving the court reporter carpal tunnel making her type all that)

Good censorship is telling a student he got an "F" on his assignment instead of telling him he's a "lazy-ass waste of oxygen who doesn't have the brains god gave a fish fart!"

Good censorship is making it so the radically imbalanced douchebags would not be permitted to protest at a funeral (because there's only time for so many funerals in a day!)

There are definitely times when censorship is an important part of life.  It keeps organized meetings from getting out of control.  It keeps us civil with most of the population we surround ourselves with.  And most importantly... it keeps us alive!  (Because you know how many times I'd have been murdered if I never censored myself?)

Despite these practical (and necessary) uses, as a general rule of thumb... CENSORSHIP IS CRAP!

If I am a big enough douchebag to walk onto the REZ and yell something about "PRAIRIE NIGGERS" then I deserve to get my ass beat down out by the dumpsters.  But guess what?  I'm a grown-up who should have known what would happen.  I don't need someone following me around with a black "censored" bar and a fog horn to bleep out my stupidity.

If I answer the phone to find a thick accent trying to coax me out of my bank account numbers, I reserve the right to call him a RAG-HEADED CAMEL JOCKEY!!

If my co-worker makes some comment about my dumbass antics, I reserve the right to refer to him as a Wetback, Beaner or the ever offensive... MEXICAN (because referring to someone's nationality is soooooo offensive!).

And in case you are curious, my new favorite 'slur' is "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey" (aka... the French)

Maybe I am being RUDE.  Maybe I am being VULGAR.  Maybe I am even being OFFENSIVE!  But I am PROUD to live in a country that protects my right to be a nasty, arogant, rednecked, bigot... if I so choose to be.

Do you know what radical censorship will get you?

Farhenhiet 541

Censorship does not make life more peaceful by eliminating the offensive.  Instead, it makes people more complacent, more mind-numbing, more ignorant, and more oblivious. 

Censorship is the exact opposite of INTELLEGENCE!  You cannot learn, expand, grow, and evolve if your vision of the world is being constantly censored.

Censorship ERASES history!  It bans books because the content is provoking.  It rewrites classics because the language is offensive.  It shuns authors because the topics are controversial.

Censorship is the isolation of knowledge.  Just as an abuser may isolate his victims to make them powerless, those who wish to control others may begin by censoring their environment.  People who are not allowed to speak, or read, or question certain topics are easier to control.  Censored people are ignorant people.  Ignorant people are easily made complacent.

So when I hear that BLOGGER has decided to CENSOR a fellow blogger... let alone a fellow ROYAL!  I am pissed... I am pissed right now!  And to know that it was most certainly for a ridiculous reason makes me even more irate on the topic.  She was not censored because she made a racial threat.  Not because she posted some nasty porn.  Not because she'd gone completely over the deep end and was viewed completely unstable (and armed).  NOOOOO!  She was censored because she wrote a factual story relating true events in a reasonable manner.  I'm not kidding.  Blogger did not like her use of terminology.  And by 'censored' I do not mean they just blocked her blog post.  NOOOO!  They shut down her entire blog and offered it up for anyone to take.  SHUT IT DOWN!!

And to top it all off... her explanation of the matter was also removed from blogger (though I haven't recieved difinitive word on whether that was her choice or another act of Blogger.)

This is a simply ridiculous form of censorship.
I do not write for blogger.  I believe that every person that stumbles onto a blog understands that the words represented on a page are the thoughts of the author and do not directly reflect the opinions and beliefs of the hosting site.

What will be next?  Will Blogger censor my posts on my religious beliefs because they feel they are not appropriate?  Will Blogger censor my posts on my family issues because I am not politically correct?  Will Blogger put an end to the battle between the Princesses because we throw around enough vulgarities to put a Naval battleship to shame?

I will NOT allow Blogger to be a tyrant in my life.  I will say nigger, wetback, spic, chink, cunt eye, flip, spook, tarbaby, greaser, kike, wagon-burner, zipperhead, and coon if the mood so pleases me.  I will feel free to use fuck, shit, hell, piss, damn, cunt, cock, asshole, bitch, slut, whore, skank, trogladite, douchebag, jackass, and Barbara Steisand!!
(bet that paragraph inspires a ton of search results!)

So I challenge you bloggers to speak your minds on this.  Censoring our personal blogs for stupid reasons is unacceptable.  I will not have my personal thoughts confined to someone else's personal dictionary.  These words are my own!  They are my thoughts, beliefs, and values.  Things that I find humorous.  Things I find valuable.  Things I just want to share because they made (or ruined) my day!

I will say these things with whatever terminology I feel is appropriate.  And as far as I'm concerned, Blogger (and anyone else who wants to complain) can take their overly sensitive, cry-baby, snot-guzzling, ass wrinkles and stuff them up the back side of a enema-filled gay rhinocerus.

So without further ramblings of my insanely irritated mental status... I give you my message to blogger:

Feel free to post this same message on your own blog if you like.

Most certainly, SPEAK OUT ABOUT THIS... because the truth is... you could be next!

And if you do nothing else... at least pop over and leave Momma Fargo some blog love because having your voice squashed by an anonymous power figure definitely calls for some sort of commendation.  Hell... I've been at this shit for ages and I thought I'd thrown out every insult and vulgarity know... I have yet to achieve such an accomplishment.


  1. Tell us how you really feel Princess!

  2. Sweet words! Love freedom of speech! Thanks for the support, Princess!

  3. Did you just step into my brain and write this because this is exactly how I feel and think!!!
    You go girl!

  4. Well said. Except I do need to find out exactly what trogladite means.

  5. *nods emphatically* I especially liked the bit about censoring stunting personal growth and learning. Well done.

    @ Dazee Dreamer: Trogladite = Someone beat with the ugly stick one too many times. Also caveman.

  6. Without freedom of speech, I wouldn't have a whole new vocabulary, so thanks for that PWT. Nicely done.